The LOUD poetry competition ran in 2024, offering prizes which directly benefit the creative development of young, under-represented writers from North-West England. Every Voice is delighted to introduce the winners & runners up of the Overs and Unders categories, alongside their poems!
Kaz Abbas (Overs)
Shalwar Kameez
There is ten thousand years’ of history
scrawled on the shalwar kameez
my mother puts on every morning.
I see a flurry of pretty pink
as she rushes about the kitchen,
trying to make eggs in time
to beat the school rush.
I sit at the table, in ill-fitting uniform,
wince as she ruffles my hair,
look at eggs I won’t eat.
The pink is deafening,
soaking up the colour from them
off-white kitchen walls, her long pink scarf
strewn on a banister whilst she cooks.
She seems to have endless colours
behind that closet door,
a thousand dyes plucked from sunlight,
immortalised in fabric
by someone, somewhere,
in the place her eyes dart to during quiet moments.
Every dawn a new colour,
varying yellows, pinks, greens and purples,
all bright as the sun that rises as she adorns herself.
Complex patterns and winding embroidery,
convening and intervening, gold and silver threads,
flowers and little bells, she descends the stairs each morning
displaying her feathers for the world to see.
I do not know,
cannot hope to know,
the billions of faces contained within
those vibrant shades of fabric dye.
How does one look through the weave,
see what they have to offer?
Morphing colours and patterns each day,
I try to grab at my history through the cloth,
but my fingers feel only a green cotton scarf
that my mother wipes my greasy hands with, before sending me off to school.
In conversation...
Q: Hey Kaz! Firstly, congratulations on your win - yours was a stand out poem from the start. Tell me about how poetry came into your life, when did you first start reading and writing poetry?
A: Hey! Thank you. I don't even know when... my parents have quite an appreciation for literature so they really encourage that. I've been reading poetry for a while, but I didn't actually write any poetry until Year 9... I think I was in maths– my teacher was very, very boring and it just kind of came to me. I can't for the life of me remember what that poem was actually about! But, I know that it was a turning point because it was the first time that I really considered poetry and writing and art as a space where I could exist– where someone like me could exist.
Q: Yeah, I love that! And I definitely relate to the boring maths teacher, I wrote a lot of stuff in boring maths lessons as well! Can you remember what it was that you first started writing about?
A: I think at first poetry was just a way for me to cope, and for me to survive and express myself where often I wasn't really heard. Then that kind of evolved into a love for poetry and a love for writing which then led me to where I am today, studying Creative Writing.
Q: I can relate to that as well - I've always seen poetry as a way of survival. So, talk me through the winning poem: the inspirations behind it and the writing process. How long do you tend to work on a poem for?
A: That poem in particular didn't go through as many drafts as some as the others. There's certain poems that have gone through ten or fifteen versions... that poem was only three or four. It was actually, in it's first instance, was written as an ekphrastic poem inspired by a painting which is called 'I still face you' by Njideka Akunyili Crosby, a Nigerian painter. That painting, to me, was about the history contained within cultural clothing and that inspired me and reminded me of the shalwar kameez that my mother would wear, the shalwar kameez that my sister wears for special events, the shalwar kameez that my aunts and my uncles and that I wear when I'm in Pakistan or it's Eid. They're incredibly beautiful pieces of clothing and there's such a strong legacy of history and ordinary people wearing them and being able to express themselves within that piece of clothing - that's what I was thinking about while writing it.
The poem is about my mother, well partly it's about my mother, and how she would wear the shalwar kameez every day because she never really lost that. She grew up in Pakistan and moved here, but I see a lot of people, first generation immigrants, and they come over and start wearing westrern clothing. But my mother never accepted that; she would always wear a shalwar kameez wherever she could... going to the shopping centres, going grocery shopping... whatever it was she was doing she'd be wearing these beautiful flowing shawls with these really beautiful kurtas with flowers and bright colours. It was just so starkly different to everything that everyone else would wear and I always thought that was so special so that's what the poem is about. It's also just about the history contained within those clothes and the cultural significance of those clothes in our country.
Q: That's beautiful. When we [the judges] were reading it we really got a sense of a rich, cultural history here but the reason we loved the poem is that it was set at a kitchen table which gave a really beautiful contrast of the basic domestic scene and a powerful, important symbol. I loved the detail as well that it goes into at the end with the gold threads and little bells. Is that all from memory?
A: Yeah, all from memory. When I say every day, I really do mean my mother would wear them every day! Her closet was just full of shalwar kameez.
Q: Ha - I love that! And so, how do you know when a poem is finished? How did you know when this one was finished?
A: Honestly, I don't! I don't think that a poem is ever really finished. There have been a lot of times where I've looked at a poem and thought "it's finished", and then I've had some feedback on it and it makes me grow and the poem grows from that. Then I'll say "okay, this is finished" and something else will happen! So I don't agree that poems are ever really finished, at least not in my writing practice, I think they're a fluid thing, a thing that changes constantly as you change.
Q: There's definitely a few of my poems that have gone through so many different iterations over the years. Do you generally re-draft and then put it aside and come back to it?
A: I think when it's the first draft of a poem it's a happening, it's immediate, I have to write it down or I can't sleep! After that, I think the main way I do it is taking it to workshops, to peers, to mates and saying "look at this!". But also giving myself time away from the poem, then going back to it, but going back to it consistently. Because when you're writing a poem there's often mistakes that you don't notice until you have some space away, so I think the main thing in my writing process is write it down, go away and live for a week or two, then come back to it, then do that again until it's, well... somewhat... finished!
Q: Yeah that breathing space is so important isn't it. It's something I struggle to structure though, I try to but I'm sort of at poetry's whim!
A: Something like writing a novel or writing a screenplay, there's a lot more planning. Poetry for me is a lot more of a fluid, immediate thing.
Q: Absolutely. And the last question is: what's a poem you wish everyone would read and why?
A: That's a good question. It's probably this poem called 'The Loss of Birds' by Nan Craig. A friend of mine showed it to me and basically what the poem is about is that birds are a thing of the past and the speaker is trying to explain what a bird is– and completely failing. It exposes how incomprehensible and magical and just nonsensical the fact that birds exist is! It's a really unique and creative way to talk about climate change and I think it's very relevant.
Lily Honeyford (Unders)
A Being Of Shame
My soul is held together by the stars,
I am bound to the cosmos
Trapped on this earth
And my heart throbs in my hands,
Bleeding and alone.
I cannot save myself from the horrors of my head
I cannot stop myself from bleeding on those I love.
Shame is a dagger I carve into my flesh,
Engraved in me forever,
A part I hope to keep fresh.
The holes in my soul are poorly patched,
With yellowing stickers and tape.
Yet the true remainder of this damage
Is held in my heart, my head,
And in turn, my skin.
I am scarred for ‘no reason’
These injuries inexplicable
Yet so are my feelings,
My existence,
The mere idea of me.
I can’t remember the answers to questions that I made,
And in the end, that is all I am.
A being of shame.
In conversation...
Q: Let's start by talking about how poetry came into your life, when did you first start reading and writing poetry?
A: Well I've always been an avid reader, but I didn't really start with poetry until about 2022 I'd say. It was a time where a lot of the social media I was on started showing up with poetic quotes and things. Then in school we started working on poetic concepts and that's when I really started writing my own stuff, got a journal and stuff like that.
Q: I came to poetry at about a similar age to you as well. I like to ask this question of poets; can you remember the first poem you wrote and what it might've been about?
A: Ooh! Let me scour Google docs. I'd probably say one of my first poems would be from 7th grade - I was in an icelandic school and I do not know icelandic - we got this poetry assignment in icelandic class and I couldn't be bothered translating it so I just wrote them all in english! But the first one I can really remember, I had it tacked onto my dresser for a while, it didn't have a name but it was about how raw and revealing things like writing and drawing and showing people your work is. I think that's really appropriate because it is terrifying showing anyone anything you've made and now I've won my family and teachers have been asking to read the poem!
Q: Oh, definitely! So what kind of stuff inspires you to write, what do you find yourself writing about?
A: I love to write! I've kind of picked up on my writing a lot this past year because that's when I really started learning my english properly when I joined an international school, so I find myself writing a lot of stories based on what I see around me, the content that I've seen and read. I write a lot of fantasy, I'd say. I like to make sure all my characters are really deep and emotional, it's better that way because you get to talk through the characters and make the little aspects of yourself that you could never really put into anything else and make them interact with each other which is really nice. With poetry, I like finding a lot of meaning in the mundane. This is how my mind works - look at something random and think 'how can I look at this?'.
Q: Amazing. In terms of the winning poem and the process of writing it, what did that look like? Do you go back and edit your poems?
A: Well, I actually wrote that one a while ago! I'd say May last year. So, when I saw the competition I was like 'hmm, I could enter this!'. It was just a one off thing, I'd never entered a poetry competition before so I thought why not! I looked back on it and edited it a little in October. I find that just about every month when I read a new book my writing is totally different; I looked back on the poem the other day and thought 'I really don't like this'. With that poem, it was just about getting it on there and that was it.
Q: Oh yeah, I can relate to that! What about influences, do you read a lot of poetry yourself or does it more come from fiction writing?
A: I am on a bit of a classics kick lately! For poetry, some of my biggest inspirations would probably be Sylvia Plath or Edgar Allan Poe. This is unrelated but, with Edgar Allan Poe, something I like to incorporate into my writing is the morbid details that stick with you. We read 'The Tell-Tale Heart' in english and I was thinking about it for months afterwards because... wow! You don't want to think about it and that's what makes you think about it. I'd like to write more like that.
Q: In your poem, there's the line 'shame is a dagger / I carve into my flesh' and you can just feel that line. So I think you did achieve it! I wanted to talk about some of the images, in particular the patched-up soul with yellowing stickers - talk me through that.
A: I actually got a lot of this imagery from a sonnet that I wrote in eighth grade. It's just this 'thing' that has to piece itself together and finds itself in so many different places. It just kind of flip-flops and switches here and there because it's so confusing being a human and you have to find yourself in a lot of different places. And when things haven't gone your way in life, you have to work really hard to scratch together what you can and just shove it into this mosaic of your soul.
Q: I like that! So- in terms of finishing a poem, how would you know when a poem is finished?
A: I like to add a little line at the end... it's kind of like an essay thesis statement that you circle back to!
Q: And finally... what's a poem or poet you wish everyone would read and why?
A: One poem that I do feel is probably one of my favourites - for absolutely no reason at all - is probably 'The Bells' by Edgar Allan Poe. No idea why, it's just good!
Over's Runners Up
Verona Charman - 'Mouldy shower curtains in Eden'
Erin Walfisz - 'Threadbare'
Under's Runners Up
Tiah Rutty - 'Our Questions'
Isobel Watson - 'Yesteryears'